Why do people feel uncomfortable about such an interracial couple? In the article, "Attitudes toward Interracial and Interethnic Relationships and Intermarriage among Korean Americans: The Intersections of Race, Gender, and Class Inequality" by Gin Yong Pang, Miae Kim says "When I see an Asian girl with a White guy, I have an uneasy feeling, especially when the girl, appearance-wise, fits the stereotype of [being] really quiet, submissive, and so on. I wonder, 'Why is he dating her?' 'What for?' I can't help looking at them. I guess it's her choice. If he looks fine, then, it shouldn't matter; but if he's on to her because of all the stereotypes, and because he could use her, then, something is wrong with it". Moreover, in many cases, Asian women are often victimized, and a white man are seen as a villain in the situation of interracial relationship. In fact, many people are not happy to see a couple of an Asian woman and a white man like Miae Kim. Honestly, I was upset when I read this comments because this comments forcibly convince the difficulty of interracial relationship, especially between Asian women and white men. I notice a lot of uneasy gaze when I am with my boyfriend. Actually, I never feel these eyes when I was dating with Asian men. I'm sure that he also feels the difference and difficulty between dating with same race and others. We should not only blame white men because we both experience hardships of having an interracial partner in this racially complex society, and it is also true that it's impossible to separate social construction and people's choice of relationship.
I think that if some people have such conceptual ideas about white man's conquest of Asian women, it is also possible to think that Asian women are taking advantages of white men. We all know that white men have privilege in this society. Here is an example of a real life situation. One day, I went to DMV to make an ID. The representative was not so nice to me, but he suddenly became extremely nice when my boyfriend showed up. As a result, the process was smoothly carried out. Things are not so easy for Asian women sometimes. I am not saying that I am taking advantage of being a girl friend with a white man, but it is certainly true that people treat you differently when you are with privileged people because the society construct people's notions. You can't see even a single person without analyzing his/her race and the social value. It is a natural tendency that is influenced by today's media that emphasizes the superiority of whiteness. It it hardly possible to evaluate anything only based on your idea. Your idea is already contaminated with the social norm. Then I imagine "what if my boyfriend is Asian? Would I still date with him?," but I realized that this is such a nonsense thoughts because his race is a part of his personality. In other words, race is one of materials that construct an individual identity. I love the person by who he is. He is a white person. Logically speaking, this two facts are supposed to be vice versa. Regardless of my feeling, I took an advantage of being with a white man.
The classic example of an Asian and white couple is Suzie and Robert from a movie, "The World of Suzie Wong." In the middle of the movie, Robert hesitates to be with Suzie, even though he knows that he loves her so much. The reason is the social pressure from his white peers. Suzie has nothing to lose due to the relationship with Robert; however, he may damage his social reputation as a white male for the interracial relationship because of the stereotypical images: he is only sexually attracted by Suzie, and he wants to dominates her. He may be called an Asian fetish, but he decided to be with her. People often see only Suzie's devotion and submissiveness as a sinful disadvantage. They often ignore Robert's struggles. I don't think Robert is just a stereotypical white man who is attracted by Suzie's exotic charms. He also sacrifices his social status for the love. On the other hand, the movie clearly shows stereotypical images of Asian women. The Asian women in this movie are mostly prostitutes, hypersexualized, obedient, and available. They could hurt the real Asian women. Because of the stereotypical images, the movie is often criticized by Asian community, but I think the real theme of this movie is how Suzie and Robert share their hardships together, and overcome them.
Unfortunately, interracial couples suffer from conceptual and stereotypical images; however, none of them should be blamed on their choice of a partner. A relationship should not be consider as a sinful behavior regardless their race. We should not judge them at all without knowing a story. Besides, we should not forget that our ideas and identities are heavily constructed by the society.
Mao Otajima
I think that if some people have such conceptual ideas about white man's conquest of Asian women, it is also possible to think that Asian women are taking advantages of white men. We all know that white men have privilege in this society. Here is an example of a real life situation. One day, I went to DMV to make an ID. The representative was not so nice to me, but he suddenly became extremely nice when my boyfriend showed up. As a result, the process was smoothly carried out. Things are not so easy for Asian women sometimes. I am not saying that I am taking advantage of being a girl friend with a white man, but it is certainly true that people treat you differently when you are with privileged people because the society construct people's notions. You can't see even a single person without analyzing his/her race and the social value. It is a natural tendency that is influenced by today's media that emphasizes the superiority of whiteness. It it hardly possible to evaluate anything only based on your idea. Your idea is already contaminated with the social norm. Then I imagine "what if my boyfriend is Asian? Would I still date with him?," but I realized that this is such a nonsense thoughts because his race is a part of his personality. In other words, race is one of materials that construct an individual identity. I love the person by who he is. He is a white person. Logically speaking, this two facts are supposed to be vice versa. Regardless of my feeling, I took an advantage of being with a white man.
The classic example of an Asian and white couple is Suzie and Robert from a movie, "The World of Suzie Wong." In the middle of the movie, Robert hesitates to be with Suzie, even though he knows that he loves her so much. The reason is the social pressure from his white peers. Suzie has nothing to lose due to the relationship with Robert; however, he may damage his social reputation as a white male for the interracial relationship because of the stereotypical images: he is only sexually attracted by Suzie, and he wants to dominates her. He may be called an Asian fetish, but he decided to be with her. People often see only Suzie's devotion and submissiveness as a sinful disadvantage. They often ignore Robert's struggles. I don't think Robert is just a stereotypical white man who is attracted by Suzie's exotic charms. He also sacrifices his social status for the love. On the other hand, the movie clearly shows stereotypical images of Asian women. The Asian women in this movie are mostly prostitutes, hypersexualized, obedient, and available. They could hurt the real Asian women. Because of the stereotypical images, the movie is often criticized by Asian community, but I think the real theme of this movie is how Suzie and Robert share their hardships together, and overcome them.
Unfortunately, interracial couples suffer from conceptual and stereotypical images; however, none of them should be blamed on their choice of a partner. A relationship should not be consider as a sinful behavior regardless their race. We should not judge them at all without knowing a story. Besides, we should not forget that our ideas and identities are heavily constructed by the society.
Mao Otajima
Mao,
ReplyDeleteYou bring up some thoughtful ideas about interracial relationships that certainly many people may find true. We should absolutely love another individual for who they are and their race is definitely a part of that whether they are yellow, white or any other shade. However, I think that this is an idea that should be equal to all across the board, and the reality is that it just isn't.
I think the larger problem Asian-Americans have with a movie like The World of Suzie Wong, is that it is a trope, or conventional idea, that has been used over and over again. Keep in mind that it was made in 1960, but before that we had Madame Butterfly, the opera debuted in 1904, and we've seen similar themes many times since. White man liberates Asian girl, again and again. So why is it that in over 100 years time we haven't seen, in Hollywood at least, a powerful love story like Suzie Wong between two Asians?
And after seeing these kinds of things time and time again, people will start to believe them. What did you think of Americans before you came to America? What do Americans think about Japanese before they go to Japan? And how much of that is influenced by the movie screen?
I like the different perspective you brought up. A lot of times when I think of a white man being with an Asian American woman, the stereotypes come to mind. You bring up a great point in that white men also face difficulty in the interracial relationship. It is a perspective that I've hardly considered. I see the point that you're trying to make as far as Asian women perhaps taking advantage of a white man.
ReplyDeleteMao, I understand about ,when you said, “. I notice a lot of uneasy gaze when I am with my boyfriend. Actually, I never feel these eyes when I was dating with Asian men.” However, I think it is very common thing about that weird gaze because maybe I am think about too much “conservative method” way, but simply when Asian women with Asian men, because of same race people won’t find much difference so, it is automatically seems like normal and other way because of difference of appear receive uneasy gaze. However, I think all that stressful ideas comes from what people’ stereotype( inferiority complex) it by themselves that we are difference so other people may look at us difference way. I know difference person has difference view. -SooJin Shin
ReplyDeleteI like how you felt confident enough to share about your personal relationship and the discrimination you feel when you're with your "White boyfriend". Although I don't know how you feel, my boyfriend's brother has a White girlfriend so when the four of us hang out, we get weird looks as well. I suppose the idea of interracial marriage or even dating is not yet programmed into our minds, and so, we tend to look at them differently. Another thing to think about it how our parents will perceive this. For me, I am Korean and I'm dating a Korean guy so my parents approve wholeheartedly. For my boyfriend's brother, however, it is a different story. Though his parents approve, it is hard for them to communicate with her. Is it the same for you?
ReplyDeleteI agree with whatever choice that you make in a mate.I do not see anything wrong with you being with a white guy. Society should get away from the notion that you have to date only within your own race.Human beings are the same regardless of the race they are. Good article.
ReplyDeleteGeorge Moore